Lunch out … or in?

Today about an hour after we had lunch here at home,  Bo asked if we had eaten lunch yet.

Two days ago, within the space of 30 minutes, this took place:

I said, “ Let’s go out for lunch  — to Wendy’s so we can get a chocolate milkshake. “

“OK” he agreed as he got up from lying on the sofa for the last half hour. “But I’m not very hungry.”

“You can get just a small sandwich.”

A few minutes later he said, “I don’t really want to go out. I’m not hungry.”

“How about some soup?”

“Yeah,  that’s what I want.”

So I went to heat a can of his favorite clam chowder (and add a can of his favorite food group:  corn.) I began making him an open-face cheese sandwich.

Bo had gone  upstairs, so I called up that the soup would be ready in a minute.  I returned to the kitchen and in a few minutes he was there, asking, “Are you ready to go?”


“Aren’t we going out to eat?”  He had changed his clothes from his recent uniform of old cotton turtleneck and warm-up pants to a nice shirt and slacks.

“I have the soup heated;  you said you wanted it.”

“I said that?”  he asked.

It is at this point that I’m never sure what to do.  Should I just go with the flow,  grab the car keys and go to Wendy’s? Not even tell him he had said something else?  We ate at home but he really wasn’t hungry. Eating is often more a chore than a pleasure  now for him, the man who always loved food and ate everything enthusiastically.

While he was eating he asked me, “Did I have something like this last year?”

“What do you mean?  Feeling tired and weak?”  I asked.  “Yes, you had something like this not too long ago.”

I couldn’t do it.  I couldn’t remind him that he has Alzheimer’s.  It seems too cruel to tell someone when they’ve forgotten about it.








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5 Responses to Lunch out … or in?

  1. Kathe Shakespeare says:

    You are in my thought and prayers. Thank you so much for sharing your experiences with Bo.
    Kathe Shakespeare

  2. Miriam Scott says:

    Nancy, you are amazing! Boris is so lucky to have such a caring and loving wife.
    Love you,

  3. Pat Stokes says:

    Nancy, this is a tough time for you. I pray that God gives you the patience, understanding and strength you need. What you are doing, taking care of Bo, is the ultimate act of love. Remember to take care of yourself!

  4. Dear Nancy,
    I found your blog and by now on you both will be in my prayers . I have lost my father two years ago, with the same disease but , God gave us strengh to go on treating him with love and compassion and I can feel it by your writings either. I know it is very hard but I am sure God is around fullfilling your heat with love . God may bless you and comfort you with His everlasting love.As well as Bo’s needs .Take care .All my loving to you both

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