It’s a bad day.
This kind of day happens more often now. Bo is totally confused, thinks someone has to treat him for something. Doesn’t know what. Can’t verbalize his concern. Needs to contact someone.
At lunch, he sat staring; sometimes I drew his attention to his food. The newspaper was on the table, the main article about a food truck bringing fresh produce to inner-city. He struggled and struggled with the headline and picture, couldn’t pronounce all of the words, couldn’t grasp the idea when I explained it to him. This was repeated over and over – probably six or seven times.
Then he moved his attention to Emma dog, wondering how and when we feed her. What is he to do to prepare her food? At one point, he actually asked if “they” are planning (he signaled with his hand at his neck) to slit her throat!
WHERE do these ideas and questions come from? Why are they in his head?
He walks around, closer to shuffling, feeling terrible and not knowing what to do.
“Can you do something for me?” he asks as he comes into the room.
“Well, don’t I have to …” his voice trails off….”I don’t know.” He sits, head hanging, hands clenched, elbows on his knees.
“OH, I don’t know what’s going on…”
“As soon as I wash my hair, I’ll take you for a ride,” I say.
“Yeah, but what am I supposed to do? …I don’t remember anyone telling me about …. go down there (he points) … you know”…
I have no idea how to reply.
“Huh, “ he scratches his head. Then he leans back, quiet….obviously in mental pain. I sit here, listen to him breathing, trying to figure out what to say or do.
The cycle continues.
He points out the window, “I don’t understand. I thought I was supposed to go down there…. I can’t understand.”
And then he breaks my heart: “Nancy, can you help me?”
I decide to take the ride immediately to break this cycle, so we get into the car and start down the street. He is still agitated as we begin, but he will calm down with the scenery and the Irish music. He begins going through things in the glove compartment and finds my business card.
He reads my name aloud. “Do you know this person?”
I hold my breath, then say that’s who I am.