This decision to move Bo to a facility has caused even more distress than I ever expected because I’m unsure about it. His brother came last week and after having lunch and touring the entire facility, we all made the same observation: that Bo was alive and sociable, talking to people, joking when he was in the assisted living area, but when he was in the memory center, he was quiet and passive.
I couldn’t sleep that night and returned the next day to say that a change must be made. The head of nursing, an extremely capable woman, interrupted me to say that she had made the same observation. I was greatly relieved (for a few hours) as we decided he would go into an apartment in Assisted Living and would receive all of his services from there.
But then the next problem emerged and I had something new to stress over. The only apt available is on the 4th floor. It requires the use of the elevator. I explained that Bo’s personal GPS is broken; he can’t find his way and would have the added confusion of using an elevator – and of not knowing where he is when the elevator doors open. Impossible. But she agreed that his personal plan would include assistance with these things.
As soon as I came home, I began to worry. And worry. What if he leaves his apartment alone and is lost? There are no video cameras in the halls. If he gets up at night, will he become lost? Will he need help and not know how to ask for it? All residents wear a call button, but he wouldn’t know what to do with one, I’m sure.
So this morning I met again with the director. After two hours of discussion, Bo will still go into the Assisted Living, and a personal plan was made for the assistance he will receive throughout the day and night, for his personal care, for activities, and for his meals in the dining room. I have two days to get ready, and then we will try. What will I tell Bo? I still don’t know. But I will be with him most of the first day and will stay until he is in bed, and in the morning someone else will be there to awaken him.