A Season Unnoticed

It’s usually easy for me to write  a post for this blog.  I have an idea that percolates, then I’m ready to write.  But in the past month,  it has been hard.  I don’t know what to write.  At least, not about Bo because he is simply steadily declining in tiny increments.

I went on a trip for eight days right after Thanksgiving and when I returned, I could see changes.  Jon and Cynthia and our Hospice nurse also see them,  but these changes are hard to describe.

Less communicative,  less mobile,  less eye contact …. more sleeping,  no sundowning, no wanting to “go home.”  He had a bad cold and coughed and coughed but it’s over.  There is a constant struggle to keep his intestines healthy.  He rarely moves more than his arms or legs on the bed or sofa and never attempts to get up.  The baby monitor is helpful because we can check on him from anywhere in the house.

Occasionally he tries to say something.  Sometimes I know what he  means;  other times I have no idea but I try to respond.  He smiles at me and wants to hold my hand or rub my hair,  but I haven’t heard him say my name in over a month.

Meanwhile, our house is ready for Christmas — two trees up and decorated inside,  and  Jon’s special lights in the front yard. … so special, in fact,  that people are stopping in front of the house to look at them.  (He made the big ornaments hanging in the trees and the ball.) But Bo notices none of it.  He used to love Christmas lights; we often rode around at night just enjoying them. Now, if we could get him into the car,  he wouldn’t notice anything around him, even when we pointed it out.

Dog and ball?? Eiffel tower Full House Tree and driveway 1

Yesterday I took the children to Philadelphia to see Macy’s famous light show then to City Hall to ice skate  (even though it was almost 70 degrees.)  NancyCamp slowed down this year, but we’ll do more in the next two weeks.  And Bo will sleep at home while the holidays swirl around him.

rothman-skating-rink

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9 Responses to A Season Unnoticed

  1. Dianne says:

    I remember Bo loving fireworks and Christmas lights…..sorry that it has all dimmed for Bo, but good that Jon has the motivation to do what once brought you so much joy, and you do it for the kids…Nancy Camp is In your heart for all seasons…hugs.

  2. Annamarie says:

    Nancy, Your writings are so beautiful–a reflection of the special person you are. I’m happy to hear you were able to get away. Sending you love and best wishes. Annamarie

  3. MCI Alice says:

    What struck me here, despite the sadness surrounding Bo (which I can barely face to be honest because it strikes a little close to home), is the family you have created. I am glad you are taking care of yourself and that you are surrounded by those you love and who love you, young and old.

  4. Arleen Stolzenberger says:

    Glad you were able to get away. Jon and his family have truly become your family. What a blessing to have them. Sending you hugs!!!

  5. Paula says:

    You are so very fortunate to have Jon help you with Bo. I will say special prayers for all of you. Loved the pictures. I would love to drive by your house. That is something we love to do as well. Christmas has such melancholy!

  6. Mary Smith says:

    It’s good you were able to get a break. Your Christmas lights look lovely and, as others have already said, it is good you have Jon and family with you and Bo. And I’m typing words when really I want to reach out and give you a hug for your sadness. And I’m thinking it must be so different when it’s a spouse and not a parent and wondering how I would cope.

    Would playing Christmassy music get any reaction?

  7. We do play Christmas music but he no longer seems to notice. About a year ago, he sometimes cried when he heard it. Hospice offers to send a music therapist to him, but ….

    • Mary Smith says:

      I took dad to a singing group. He never remembered going but he did sing along and then later when he was sleepy most of the time we noticed his fingers still drummed and his feet tapped. Might be worth trying the the music therapist.
      It’s almost like a shutting down isn’t it?

  8. Tumbling Maddie says:

    The lights on your house look awesome, we will notice for both 🙂

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